by Veronica Louis

Painting of a stick figure looking out a window

Painting: Joyce Quansah

For the past few months, I had been actively pursuing a “dream” writing job for a “dream” company. I spent months researching and preparing myself for the whole interview process. And come interview day (a two hour text-based chat through Skype) I was more than ready as well as high on anticipation. The interview had gone really well, and the next step was to complete a few writing assignments.

When I found out a couple of weeks ago that there was a hold put on hiring for the position, my heart sank. Sometimes, you believe so much that something is meant to be that you can almost taste it and feel it with all your might. So when things fell through, my confidence took a hit, and I fell through. I was so attached to the idea of getting this position that my vision had narrowed and could only focus on that one thing. When that prospect fell apart, my vision blurred and I found myself disoriented.

Self-pity isn’t pretty. But I somehow couldn’t get myself to look on the brighter side. I needed help. I found it at a Vipassana meditation course, where I was reminded of how everything was impermanent, and my mind went from being agitated to being calm.

When something is not meant to be, it’s always hard to understand why, when we’re in the midst of it all. But there is always a reason. And we might not be able to see that reason now, but accepting our predicament and moving on, instead of ruing and dwelling in the past, is always the better solution, (and saves us energy on the senseless and ceaseless wondering of what could’ve been).

The fact is, life is too short to live in the past, in the “what was,” or in the future, in the “what it should be.” What’s real is the now, and every action that we take in the present can lead us to the desired life. I keep on forgetting that my only reality is the present one, but luckily I eventually remember again.

So now, I gladly accept and embrace the fact that I didn’t get my “dream” job. Because deep inside, I know that it wasn’t meant to be for the time being, and I’m turning the focus back on the present and living in it.

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